Not About Jose Offerman

Friday, September 23, 2005


Honestly, I was quite pleased to find Miguel Tejada totally exonerated by MLB. I feel like Palmeiro would be best served, if Cooperstown is still his goal, by bowing out quietly during the offseason then devoting himself to anti-steroid work of some kind.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Since the "Miracle"

(Cross-Posted at Death/Media Incarnate)

As the Red Sox fall out of first place, and Derek Lowe and Pedro Martinez continue to pitch well for their new teams, I am brought to make some remarks about the time since Boston's miraculous victory.

Immediately after this, with Curt Schilling stumping, Bush was re-elected. Shilling has had a terrible year, struggling to return from a serious injury much too quickly. If he had rested, instead of traveling around the country in October blathering about how great Christ Jr. Bush is, perhaps this wouldn't have been a problem. Moron.

'Dro, my beloved 'Dro, has kept his jeri curl in tact and made the Mets look periodically legit this year with, surprise surprise, great pitching. Though Lowe's record is only 11-14 for the hapless Dodgers, his 3.45 ERA surely would have garnered at least 15-20 wins in 33 starts for Boston.

It was in late December, as all of Red Sox nation basked in the glory of the season past and marveled at the consistent Patriot's run into the playoffs, the Tsunami devestated Asia. Hundreds of thousands died. Whole economies were wiped out. The region has barely begun to rehabilitate itself. The media response was significant, and, you'll recall, Bush was remonstrated by many for his failure to respond quickly.

In February, the NHL canceled its season.

In late March, Terri Schiavo died, with President Bush failing to save her. I might add, while judicial activism is quite righly anethema to Conservatives, legislative activism is their favored mode, especially when it can be employed at the expense of the Constitution.

John Paul II died on April 2. He was then replaced by, naturally, a reformed Hitler-youth-turned-Cardinal, Pope Ratzinger.

In May, Natalee Holloway, a recent high-school graduate, disappeared after spending a rowdy night in Aruba with Joran Van Der Sloot and the Kalpoe brothers. She, like the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, has not been found.

On June 14, Michael Jackson was acquitted of molestation and kidnapping.

In July, Sandra Day O'Connor retired, giving a dim-witted, ideology-controlled, science/knowledge-hating, faith-base-prostrated President Bush the opportunity to nominate a Supreme Court Justice.

Then In late August, as the world focused on the President's inept handling of the Iraq War thanks to the protest launched by American Heroine Cindy Sheehan, Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast, leading to the most unbelievable images from the New Orlean's convention center, punctuated most profoundly by the repeated chants of "help!" by the beleaguered, poor, and largely black New Orleaneans...

FEMA took some 7 days to fully mobilize, while Bush likewise stuck to his "justify-the-war" stump campaign days into the crisis... Then William Rehnquist died, and Roberts was re-nominated as Chief Justice. Amazing. Word on the street is Bush wants a real hardliner in there now. Wonderful.

Then, finally, after all this calamity, that pilot managed to land that plane safely last night, and a glimmer of hope returned to the pan-optic death grip media holds over all of our lives. Happy day.

Oh wait, I forgot, Hurrican Rita is near!

Let's all remember that, of all of these, by far the most covered story was the Tragical Case of Terri Schiavo, with Holloway running a close second.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Days of Boston Glory Over?

With the Yanks now only 1/2 a game out, and the Pats getting spanked by the Panthers, is the recent hey-day of Boston Sports Hegemony ebbing?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Watched a little bit of the action this week. Pretty exciting, as is always the case at the dawn of a new season, to feel a real sense of parity within the league. The tides roll on, Michael Vick comes closer to realizing his true superstar status by leading a power-house team, the antics and theatrics of T. O. now seem even more foolish, or inidicative of an actual lack of motivation... Ah the drama!

The Patriots last Thursday struck me as a little bit lacking on defense... Seeing Ty Law make an interception for the Jets was a real shock, as was seeing Randy Moss absolutely punk Rodney Harrison.

I am just overwhelmed by the Saints feel-good victory. Really.

If I can find the time, I'm going to try to watch a few games and then begin making some serious, Nostradaman predictions...

Monday, September 05, 2005

Playoff Picks

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict the teams that will make the baseball playoffs:

AL East: Boston

AL Central: Chicago

AL West: LA

Wild Card: New York

NL East: Atlanta

NL Central: St. Louis

NL West: San Diego (I guess!)

Wild Card: Florida

I think New York squeeks in ahead of Oakland, while the Marlins win a close race with the Astros and Phils, with the Mets not too far behind. The rest of the division stuff seems pretty safe, so feel free to fault me as you will.